I’m very tired, dizzy, sore all over, and retching.
I deeply realize that I must be a complete idiot to be on the shoulder of a superloli for several hundred kilometers. And what’s even more idiotic, I still come to class the next day, this give me a really scary thought – did I finally activated my hidden masochistic characteristic?
Classroom is as messy as streets upon the arrival of inspectors. Topics from US selling missiles to Taiwan to what lunch would there be at the café today, as far back as how would people thousands of years ago think of cooking food up to as recent as the shooting yesterday, it’s like all possible topics of the world are concentrated into this small classroom, and assembled into all kinds of weird status. It’s highly unlikely that anyone could understand them without the help of subtitles.
I just want to sleep, but I can successfully fall asleep, this chapter doesn’t need to exist……oops, did I say anything?
I seem to see a person coming towards me. He’s called Hang Zhao, the first friend I have in this school. Unlike me, who transferred at senior high school, he’s here since junior high, he understands the school far better than me, and helped me a lot at the beginning. Aside from his careless personality, he is a nice guy. His most obvious characteristic is his meat-mountain shaped body and agility that doesn’t fit his size. Some people say he is already over 190kg, almost reaching 200.
“Jun, wake up! What did you do last night?”
I raise my head, my bloodshot eyes obviously surprised him.
“Oh, Jun, what happened? Did you sleep last night? Wait, you managed to escape your sister’s attention?”
“Would you believe me if I say I was busy working with terrorists down last night?”
“No!” He shakes his head, fats on his cheek make waves.
“Then we have no common language……” I said, my eyelids seem to close on its own, and sounds become blurry.
“Hey, wake up, don’t sleep yet, I have news here!”
“Bun is on sale at the café?”
“Em… not that”
He shrugs and turns away.
I’m not interested doesn’t mean that other people are also not. A voice soon saves his soul, Qian Qian asks, “Mr.Fat, what news?”
“Something’s going on with the family of our menopausal teacher, he quit!”
There’s a few seconds of silence before the whole class boils over. Everyone is running here to ask him about more details – now I really can’t sleep.
“OKOK, ” Hang looks around at our classmates, “that’s not the important part. Do you want to know who’s out new teacher?”
Another two seconds of silence, and everyone bends down together to grab the chair.
“Stop, I’ll say it, ” Hang wisely chooses life over vanity, “she’s hot!”
“Ah–” everyone called out in surprise, and said together, “According to your standard?”
His standard is something everyone is always interested in. According to him, any girl that isn’t an eyesore is “beautiful”. Then it became that all female is attractive to him.
The latest one is that Mr. Zhao widened his standard to any non-male creature. It would probably include eunuchs soon……
Therefore no one is looking forward to the “hot” new teacher.
Maybe offended by our cold reaction, Hang shouted, “what kind of reaction is this? I’m not lying! She has long hairs. And not only did I say so, two more people that happens to walk by also gave the same comment!”
Looks like he knows his reputation on his standard, that’s why he uses normal people to prove his point. But we don’t reject the possibility of other people having the same aesthetic as him.
Seeing that people are still not excited, he said, “you’ll all know in a second. The first class is hers, let’s see what you guys have to say then……absolutely longhaired hot chick!”
Because of his tone, people start to kind of believe him, and starts to look forward to our hot new teacher.
But……why did I have a very uneasy feeling when Hang said “long-haired hot chick?”
The bell rings.
Everyone runs back to their seats, waiting for our new teacher.
Footsteps appear outside the door, then a girl around 2X years old, with excellent curves and waist-length hair walks in.
“Wow—” All the beasts yell out in surprise.
“Ah—” All the girls yell out in envy.
“Phew–”I slide under my desk.
I know her, the girl that nearly became the new president of US last night……
“Hello class, I’m your new homeroom teacher. I’ll be teaching your language class from now on. My name is Lingling Pan, I’m looking forward to a happy semester with you guys……” She said with a big smile, but her eyes scan through me now and then.
I thought your first line would be something like “Stupid human, you are conquered! Put down your weapons and obey the Empire!!”
I don’t even know how I passed this class. The instability in front of the board really puts great pressure on me. Luckily beasts in my class are too attracted by our alien terrorist to notice my abnormality.
After class, the first thing I do is to run to junior high section and ask Pandora what the heck is going on. As I run down the stair, I bump into a tall guy.
“Oops, sorry!” I said, and turned around.
3 seconds later, I turn back. The guy I bump into was standing straight on the spot. As I turn around, he gives me a Xiling military salute.
“How many dollars did you print last night?”
“Empire! The cash we printed is enough to support all commanders to live in this world for approximately five months, ” he is one of the two printing counterfeits last night,
“without damaging the current economy.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Empire, I successfully became a teacher here!”
As I imagined……
“What are you teaching?” I’m curious about what the guy that’s still printing counterfeits last night could teach students.
“Politics and basis of law!” He said proudly.
I feel like our next generation is experiencing a planned disaster.
Under the building of junior high section, Pandora is well prepared for my questions.
“According to your order, they all found appropriate jobs. And concerning your safety, I put them all around this school.”
“……Fine, I don’t doubt that they have the ability, but I have one more question – how did they find the jobs? How could they find a job in less than 12 hrs? They just come to this world this morning!”
“Do you still remember the one that was transported into a tree trunk?”
I recall the unlucky guy that spent the whole night waiting for people to finish picking wood flakes inside him.
“Are the flakes out?” I care about the safety of subordinates.
“Somehow,” Pandora obviously doesn’t care, “he is the commander of spiritual commando. He specialized is on regional mental interference.”
……Can I see it as human being brainwashed by aliens?
Although I still feel like something is wrong, the only thing I can do is to accept it. There’s really no better way to settle them, at least I can’t think of any.
So, without anyone noticing, an alien invasion is completed……